5 Minutes to Kill Yourself: Wedding

5 minutes to kill yourself wedding day

Adult Swim’s 5 Minutes to Kill Yourself delves into the wonderful world of marriage; by giving players get 5 minutes to get out of what appears to be a terrible idea –committing yourself to another person for the rest of your life. With the ceremony already on the way and the I Do’s about to be exchanged, you take control of either the bride or the groom as you run around the church and reception area, looking for ways to end your life before getting hitched.

How it All Works

The game starts with a quick intro of how you ended up in the altar in the first place –a drunken night at the bar, wherein you propose (or get proposed to), thereby starting a chain of events that leads to you and your now sober partner to walk up the aisle. As the reality of the wedding looms over, you both realize that you are both destined for an unhappy life together –and instead of waiting for years before your eventual end, it seems that killing yourself right now is a much better idea.

When making your character at the intro screen, you decide the avatars for the bride and groom –which means determining their skin color, hair and clothing colors. You also get to give them names too, making the game a little more personal (and somewhat tongue-in-cheek for the more commitment phobic ones).

Once the game itself starts, you will be given only five minutes to kill yourself – no more, no less, it’s quick death in the game. However, players must note that this timer cannot be stopped (opening up the map or going into an animation sequence does not slow down the timer at all) this means that once you are in the game, you have to make the most out of your 5 minutes.

To get hurt, all you need to do is to roam around the area looking for arrow markers on objects and people –this indicates that you can interact with them. In some occasions, you will end up picking up an item –you must then use this on another object (or person) to actually receive damage.

Killing yourself is a matter of accumulating enough damage. For all purposes, your character starts out with 100% health. Every action you make in the game will result in a violent accident or similar act –which has corresponding percentile damage. Once you accumulate 100% from all the damage you have received, you win the game. Failing to do so under 5 minutes however, forces you to still get married as you are still alive at that point.

There is no one specific way to win the game, considering the number of actions you may choose, you could opt to die in many various ways and each playthrough allows you to explore actions you did not take before.

You can play 5 minutes to kill yourself wedding edition at the Adult Games site Adultswim, which also hosts a whole loads of other versions of this funny game.