Until 2015 there hadn’t been a true Angry Birds sequel, but said year saw the arrival of the long-awaited, stress-busting, structure-destroying Angry Birds 2. Gone are the days of paying a nominal up-front fee for the consistently-updated app, but even with frequent pushes for in-app purchases, the case can still be made for Angry Birds 2 being worthy of true sequel status. There are lots of features that remain – it’d be madness to mess with the fundamentals of a formula that has earned Rovio millions upon millions – but also admirable attempts at giving the gameplay a bit of a shake-up, and thankfully it looks like the developers are shaking in all the right directions.
Stress balls may have cut it for the previous generation of stressed-out office workers, but it’s safe to say that stress levels (or at very least the hasty diagnosis of them) today are perhaps higher than they have ever been. Extraordinary stress therefore requires extraordinary measures of stress relief, and what better outlet of anger than to smash up entire cities full of people? That’s the premise of Smash Monsters, only you also get to grow your own monsters and nurture them to their full destructive potential while also possessing special monster-specific advantages that make each certain building types susceptible to the monster you own.
There is no company structure in the entire world that doesn’t contain numerous bosses, each waiting for their subordinates to fail on a daily bases and even encouraging them to do so. This explains the massive quantity of boss-beating games in existence. One of the most notorious and now also the most comprehensive games of this type is Beat the Boss 4. The previous 3 Beat the Boss games are all worth playing, but this fourth iteration really delivers the goods: 10 maps to explore, countless bosses to beat the living consciousness out of, a comprehensive arsenal of weapons with which to beat your bosses, and multiple upgrades and customisation options to make this arguably the best Beat the Boss yet.
Remember when Dawn French used to encourage you to “whack” a chocolate orange instead of tapping it? Well, in Whack the Burglar, the aim is to whack (and definitely not tap) the living hell (and usually exsanguinate) the burglars who have rudely interrupted your sleep. There are plenty of items around the room, each of which initiate their own depraved and violent kill sequence – it’s up to you as the player to find them all, and discover a host of secret and combined kills along the way.
How much is too much when it comes to stress? The answer is that we can never really know. To prevent stress-related diseases or freak-outs, you could choose an old-fashioned stress ball, or you could have a go at downloading Stress Baal. This isn’t a misspelling either: Stress Baal is a devil-like character of evil mischief who deserves a beating. It’s up to you to give Stress Baal this beating, effectively relieving your stress in the process. There are no goals, levels, high scores, or achievements to worry about: simply beat the hell out of Stress Baal and feel your stress evaporating with every swipe.
Colossatron: Massive World Threat is somewhat of a departure for its developers, Halfbrick Studios, giving players the chance to flatten whole cities from a top-down perspective using a giant robotic destruction machine on a destructive (yet stress-relieving, for its players anyhow) mission. Halfbrick’s other titles have been light-hearted, family-friendly affairs such as Fruit Ninja and Jetpack Joyride, making this quite a dark turn for the developers. However, in spite of its potentially limited audience, its broader appeal, albeit a rather niche one, stems from a blend of some of the most stunning visual styles of any game this year and some enticing gameplay mechanics that accessible yet still highly challenging
There's nothing like a good old toilet game to remind us that no matter how fantastic we think we all are we all have to do the same thing – poo!
If you happen to be one of those humble few in today's society who don't consider themselves above everyone else these games will naturally appeal to you more than the snotty kind.
Don't S**t Your Pants
Whatever you do listen to the game's title for goodness sake! We've all been there, we need to take a crap real badly but we've forgotten how to pull down our pants and sit on the toilet – well maybe at least when we have had a few too many at the local pub. Well in this game you are not drunk, the guy simply needs your instructions on how to open the door and let one go!
Adult Swim's 5 Minutes to Kill Yourself delves into the wonderful world of marriage; by giving players get 5 minutes to get out of what appears to be a terrible idea –committing yourself to another person for the rest of your life. With the ceremony already on the way and the I Do's about to be exchanged, you take control of either the bride or the groom as you run around the church and reception area, looking for ways to end your life before getting hitched.